Apolliox looked at the battlefield in front of him: He saw the batteries of guns, blessed with hellfire; the other Iron Warriors preparing themselves for battle, reciting the Litanies of Iron; he saw the cultists, rousing themselves for War, shouting praises to the Gods, and scarring themselves with the Star of the Gods, for good luck in battle.
It sickened him. All of it; from their chanting, to the smell, everything about this existence made him sick, and most of all, angry. But it wasn't the mindless rage of the World Eaters, and other devoted to the blood god, this rage was deep, something twisted and monstrous that had been building for years, a resentment that had evolved into anger. Anger at his Legion, at his Primarch, at the Gods, and most of all, anger at the Imperium.
He had become so angry for so long, he no longer remembered why. All he knew, however, is that his anger recessed at the moment where his enemies submitted to Death at the end of the siege; that moment when the doors were blasted open, when the walls crash, when he saw the look on despair in his enemies' eyes.
In those moments, he always finds enlightenment.
Iron Within, Iron Without.
That being said, this is my first Chaos Space Marine. In this case, a Kitbashed Exalted Champion.
And also, I began working towards making an ogre team for Blood Bowl (I may have a shelf problem at this rate xD), and after doing a lot of pondering, I got a few Manowar Shocktroopers from my Khador army (the sad part is, I don't think I'll be playing Warmachine any time soon, the small WarmaHordes community is either done for, moved out of town, or sold the minis to buy Magic: The Gathering cards, which has much more players and support), cut away the the weapons, and decided that the look of the Ogre Team will be a steampunk team of humans in bulky steam-powered suits that are so old, rusty, and belch lots of smoke and steam that they can't move/tackle/block/do anything well (thus the bone-head negaskill).
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I had a few Kahdoran medals on my bag of bits, and added one to identify the 'Star Player'