A few minor tweaks

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Icytim
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A few minor tweaks

Post by Icytim » Sat Mar 23, 2013 2:02 am

Here I have compiled a few things that I think need editing. These are not suggestions for new rules, merely things that I think might cause issues later... or simply wording that is either unclear or doesn't flow well, as well as any minor errors I pick up on. This is all basically nit picking, so I feel bad posting it, but I think you said somewhere that that's what you want, so here it is. I hope it helps (and sorry if I sound harsh, I usually only edit myself, and I don't mean it that way).

Page 6, clarity issue
You say if you want to convert to the metric system, multiply by 2.5. This makes little sense, as it would simply having you increasing the length. I think what you mean to say is that for the purposes of this game, each inch could be calculated as 2.5 centimeters. This is tiny, but worth keeping in mind for your next update of the game.

Page 8, wording does not flow well
Perception (Pr)
The Perception of a unit shows how good they are at spotting hidden dangers, from cloaked or camouflaged enemies to hidden traps.
The use of the word hidden twice in that way sounds a little off in my head... Could just be me though.

Page 9, formatting
There is no blank line between the strength paragraph and the AOE header.

Page 9, attribute test clarity issue
A roll of a natural double six is an automatic failure (even if it was a reroll), and no Command Points can be used to modify it or reroll it (we’ll talk about Command Points later). If an attribute test would normally be impossible because of the penalties (e.g. it requires 1 or less to succeed), a natural double one will always count as an automatic success with a Margin of Success of 0.
Though most sane people would understand this perfectly, and I don't think that anyone will misinterpret it outside of intentionally. It is always best to be clear so that nobody can bog down the game with a debate on the technical meanings of the rules. That and it shouldn't be all that difficult to add parenthesis at the end saying something along the lines of (excepting double sixes). When this becomes bigger (as I am sure it will, it is an epic idea) it is best to have already stamped out every ambiguity you can find so as to avoid GW syndrome (though actually I would not include this in their many faults, it is difficult work making EVERYTHING plain and clear).

Page 13, leaving combat lacking clarity
The rule for this seems great, and I like the combat system in general... However, I think you should add something expressing that this special attack can only be used once per turn. If that is not in place, I can foresee some serious shenanigans involving this rule.

Page 17, multiple combats
You forgot to add a minor bit of clarification that says what models in squads to when in contact with two enemy units. This is a common sense rule, but again, it is best to be clear.

That was all I managed to find, the later stuff seemed to be for the most part without issue. I'll post if I find anything else... and sorry for all this trivial stuff. It is a little ridiculous, but necessary as well. Thanks for being patient with me.

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Re: A few minor tweaks

Post by miniwargaming » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:57 am

Thanks! Proofreading feedback is always welcome.

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