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The Fallen Soldier Chronicles Part 4: Pestilence

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:57 pm
by AirborneHam
Part 1: ... 19&t=65487
Part 2: ... 19&t=65874
Part 3: ... 19&t=66922

The night passed in what felt like a heartbeat. Sven awoke to the sun shining in his eyes from the window above his cot, his body in more pain than ever before. Every muscle in his body ached as if he had climbed a mountain that night and awoken from the landing. He was tired and began to pull the blanket over his eyes to rest more when he heard the door open.

The woman, Katrina, entered quietly, carrying a tray of food. She wore a dress that bore several small holes and was edged with dried dirt. The idea of wearing such disgusting clothing was unheard of in his society. The diseases that could be carried in the grime…

Diseases. Sven had forgotten about the virus in his pain. He was surely infected by now; he would die by that night. The pain of the virus would make his current ache feel like a paper cut. Sven shot up, ignoring the agony throughout his self. Katrina let out a quiet yelp and nearly dropped the tray of food she was holding as Sven jumped to his feet.

“Where’s my mask?” He asked, his mind swarming with ideas of death and pain. “The virus. I’m going to die.” Katrina looked at Sven with an expression of shock. She must not have thought about anyone being susceptible to the virus, everyone here was immune. Sven ran across the room to a closet he assumed his suit would be in. Throwing the doors open, he almost knocked Katrina over. Inside there were many rags and instruments for medicinal purposes. Sven rummaged through the equipment and cloth until he had searched every inch of the closet. He turned to search elsewhere and, not paying attention to anything other than thoughts of his impending death, ran into his doctor.

“Looking for this?” Katrina held his breathing apparatus in her hand. Sven grabbed at it and pushed it into his face. His deep breaths almost filled his mind entirely, but he heard faint laughing, as if in another world someone found this funny and the sound had leaked through to his ears. He opened his eyes enough to see Katrina’s red face covered by her hands. Her eyes smiled as she laughed and Sven might have thought her cute if it not for the fact that she was laughing at his demise.

“What are you laughing at?” Sven shouted through the mask. His voice was muffled but she stopped laughing enough to talk, her smile lighting up the room.

“You think you’re dying.” Katrina giggled. Sven had guessed her age to be at least mid-twenties, but when her mask of seriousness was removed, he saw she couldn’t be older than 20. Her adult manner and professionalism made her seem much more mature than what she was. Sven began to wonder if he seemed older than his age. He was, after all, commander of his own Tech Recovery Team. Whether it was intact or not, he still held that responsibility.

Katrina was still smiling but her laughter seemed to subside. Sven was irritated and it must have shown on his face because Katrina soon had a look of self-reproach. “I’m sorry.” She looked Sven in the eyes as she spoke. “You didn’t know. This building is an old NanoSec facility. There’s an airlock to get in and out. The virus never got in here and never will.”

Sven stood, unmoving, his face with a look of awe. He slowly lowered the mask away from his mouth and regained his posture. The only sound that escaped his mouth was, “Oh.” Katrina began cleaning up the food that was spilled and the smile grew back on her face. Sven sat back down on his cot as Katrina walked back out the door. “Let me make you another breakfast.”

Re: The Fallen Soldier Chronicles Part 4: Pestilence

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:01 pm
by AirborneHam
:twisted: English class cannot prevent the greatest flying pig whoever lived from writing mediocre stories for a developing miniature war game. :twisted:
Oh! :shock: Hi, I have a small addition to Sven's story. Even with the lowering trends in Dark Potential, I think the feedback on my writing is still helping me improve enough to make this worth while. It's also quite fun. :)
Any comments, critiques, and constructive criticism are welcome.

Re: The Fallen Soldier Chronicles Part 4: Pestilence

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 3:19 pm
by Roy-Batty
Hey, great to have you back! And another great entry. I usually finish your stories wanting to read more, so great!

If you keep on with this storyline, maybe you could tell us a bit more about how they combat human-human infection. I liked how you built things up to the twist of a controlled air supply, but that was the only thing that bugged me. Would love to see where you are taking this.

It always makes me smile a bit to see people use references to my stories. In fact, it's a great compliment for me. Thanks.

By the way, why don't you use these stories in your english class and combine both things?

Re: The Fallen Soldier Chronicles Part 4: Pestilence

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:10 pm
by AirborneHam
First, Thank you. I'm glad you really like my writing. I enjoy your writing as well and am saddened by the wrapping up of the 100 years war yet excited to see what you do after Eris Scrolls.

Second, If I could use these in English I would. Unfortunately my class is not about writing it is about understanding figurative language. Basically we spend most of the time trying to "understand" what the clouds represent. Not the kind of English class I enjoy.