Reclaimers short story: Generator battle

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willhman
Now we're getting somewhere...
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Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:37 pm

Reclaimers short story: Generator battle

Post by willhman » Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:04 pm

"Its been reported that the Salvagers activity in this area has been high so expect some resistance, remeber Salvagers do not attack until provocted. If there is no need for violence then let them do what they do and let us reclaim what we came here for. If you see something worth reclaiming and is in the hands of a Scrapper, shoot it take it and report your find to me. Is that understood?"
"Yes Captain" The Squad yelled back at him over the sound of the transport as it entered Earth's orbit.
"Good" The Captain yelled back, Suited in a combat enviromental-suit the Captain looked intimidating, Matt thought, even though they had been on dozens of trips down to Earth Matt never got used to the look of the Captain when they were in the middle of a skirmish.
Matt looked around and saw that everyone was ready for some action. "Observer you ready?" The Captain yelled at him. " Aye Captain" Matt replied. "Good when the doors open up you'll be landing first while we make a swoop around and drop down so that we can load out and search for any unknown enemies nearby while you look around and see what the Salvagers has against us understood?"
"Yes sir" Matt yelled back in reply. Already he could feel the transport start to slow down, his stomach did a couple of flips as he felt the gravity in the transport re-adjust. " Redeemer, you and squad one will head up north to the main entrance of the building, there you will hold your ground and wait on the Observers report. I want you to be ready, if the Observer says to fire you fire understood?" The Redeemer nodded in reply Checking his rocket launcher, and adjusting it accordingly "Good, squad two will go south to the end of the building and be ready for a fast evacuation, no telling what will happen down there, squad three will go into the building with me, locating the objective."
Suddenly the door went down and a roped went loose " Alright Observer your loose, good fighting" The Captain replied, loading his plasma rifle as he said. I nodded in reply and grabbed the rope, falling with the rope in my hand using it to slow my descent throught the air before landing. I watched the transport fly away, then looked at my surroundings.
Instantly, I saw it. "Captain we may have a problem" My Hud taking in the Salvagers around it. "What is it?"
"Sir we have a mobile factory, and it seems about full" I could hear cursing in the background " Heavy defenses around it?" "No sir this just seems to be a fac, but it has alot of Scrappers, as well as a two sqauds of 3 mobile defences. I dont think we have to worry about anything except that we have a large group of scrappers heading to the building with the generator in it. They might be going for it sir."
"Hold position, keep an eye on the factory though it has no weapons it could let loose a couple of heavy weapons platforms." "Understood" Matt replyed already looking around for more enemy targets. He counted at least 22 scrappers with 10 heading to the reaserch building where the generator is in.
"Alright, sqaud three and I are in the building, squad one and two to your positions. Observer target a leg on that stinking fac I want the scrappers heading back there to repair it, not here bothering us, give the signal to the redeemer when ready." Instantly Matt brung the scope to his face and targeted the leg closest to him.
"Ready" Matt said to the redeemer. Almost instantly he heard a low "Psssshh" and saw a contrail of smoke go into the air, curve slightly, and hit the Fac leg dead on. Instantly, the fac changed its weight, and redirect it to the other three legs. Suddenly swarms of small robotic spiders swarmed out and started to repair the leg. Some sacrificed themselves for metal.
Matt spotted the group of scrappers that were heading to the reaserch building turn around and head back to the fac, "Target hit, Scrappers are heading back for repair protocols." Suddenly the two squads of light gun platforms started to make their way to the redeemers location.
Before Matt could reply the redeemer's squad opened fire and went to cover. "Give me a lock on the second squad of light gun platforms observer" Matt twirled around and ran to the other side spotting and locking on to the other gun platforms and the shambled across the courtyard towrads squad two. He locked onto the gun platform in the middle. "Locked on and ready for fire" Matt heard the "Pfft" and watched as it hit the gunplatforms.
"Target hit" Matt watched as the other two gun platforms stuble onwords towards the second squad. "Second squad go for cover"
The gun platforms opened fire, Second squad sent return fire from their positions. Matt watched as one of second squad get hit and his entire body mist the air with his blood. Matt shuddered slightly.
Suddenly, the Captain sent out a transmission on the entire task force frequincy "Pull back! I repeat, pull back! We have X'lanthos fighting forces here! Third squad has been destroyed I am the sole survivor, pull back to building A, we will regroup there and start a counter defensive, now MOVE!!"
Instantly Matt jumped down and headed across the courtyard feeling his synthetic muscles pull him across at a good 35.
Matt's mind was in a whirl, X'lanthos, here?! Why didnt we catch a hold of them till now? How many are there? Ugh how will I get home to finish that good story I reading?
Suddenly a bullet wizzed by from a gun platform. Move now thoughts latter. He ran inside the building.



Ok that was the opener. What did you all think? I know that there might be some stuff not with the fluff but I have pictured the reclaimers like this. Please post comments on what you thought was kool and what you thought needed improvement all posted will be appreciated. Thanks!

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cj rex
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Re: Reclaimers short story: Generator battle

Post by cj rex » Fri Mar 01, 2013 8:49 am

I like the way you had them come down to earth. Sounds good so far, maybe have back up come with the transport. But keep it up I want more :)
So you mean to tell me you don't fear the things that go bump in the night? While you're in the woods? Foolish.

silverflame1382
Now we're getting somewhere...
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:10 pm

Re: Reclaimers short story: Generator battle

Post by silverflame1382 » Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:45 pm

I love the story itself; you set a really good tone and I got immersed. I definitely want to see more. There were a couple of things that distracted from the quality of the story though. You used Matt's name too many times referring to him; try using pronouns and it will be less distracting. Keep up the good work.

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