To appease the dark overlords of the internet one must be careful to observe the unholy rules of forum posting. While these rules may seem simple, one must carefully scrutinize each vowel and consonant in order to derive their full meaning. Heed my warning young internet wayfarer, if you fail to post according to these rules you will... err... Fail.

1) Observe all official and unofficial forum rules.

2) Read each official and unofficial rule twice. I'll wait for you to do so.

3) Now that you have done so, disregard rule number 2.

4) When posting an opinionated comment please remember to cite your sources. Example: "This image is awesome. dreadlord said so."

5) When posting a factual comment feel free to sound egotistical by using large words like "pontificate."

5a) Remember: If you need to look up a word someone else used, chances are they're correct.

5b) In the event that you are too lazy to look up said word in the easily accessible online dictionary of your choice, you can merely quote the entire post in question and reply with "I agree." or "QFT."

6) Always listen to your forum elders, even when they're making themselves look stupid. You can learn much from stupidity.

7) Images are your friends.

8) Youtube videos are your family.

9) Be kind to the moderators; get on their good side and they will forgive your shenanigans.

10) Shenanigans. hehe.

11) Where was I?

12) Oh yes, 11. Disregard rule 10. It is a silly rule.

13) Did you know that many buildings do not label the 13th floor? They mark it 14 instead... but you know better.

14) Exercise your brain by making wild connections between subjects. It isn't "off topic" if you can miraculously relate it back to the subject in the original post.

14a) Master this rule and the world is your oyster. ( "One night in Bangkok and the world's your oysta..." )

15) If you're still reading this you are a troll at heart. Don't deny your destiny. The post is strong in you.

16) Polls. We need more polls. They can be about anything. Make a poll about the proper number of options in a poll.

17) Come visit me in the Off Topic section. Obviously I am a very bored creature.

18) When was the last time you danced? Think about it. You can do it by yourself and not even tell anyone. What's stopping you? Go on. Dance. I'll bet you smile.

19) Make up words. The dictionary does it.

20) Random is good. Welcome a little Chaos into your life.

21) Trolls have a natural healing factor. Normal weapons do not hurt them. Your only hope is flaming. A flaming sword is your best friend. Always be prepared.

21) Sometimes it is okay to double post.

22) Who's counting?

23) Moss grows on the north side of the tree because we live in the northern hemisphere and it uses the shade of the tree to avoid direct sunlight.

23a) No one lives in the southern hemisphere.

24) "Spam" is an opinion.

25) "Spam" is also a way of life.

26) "Spam" should be in it's own food group. What is it anyway?

27) Now I'm hungry. Look what you did.

28) Spellcheck your posts before you click the submit button.

28a) Spellcheck doesn't recognize the word "spellcheck" don't worry. You spelled it correctly.

29) Proper grammar isn't a requirement but you might mysteriously end up missing if you do not use it.

30) There is no spoon.

30a) Only fork.

30b) Referencing the matrix, even as a joke, is a surefire way to fail.

31) Post prolifically. Posts are like breadcrumbs, they'll help you find your way home.

32) If in doubt, post anyway. Do it for the Lols. They will thank you for it.

33) Pork is a verb. A funny verb.

34) Mr. T is better than Chuck Norris.

35) If you fail hard enough you will become pure win. I'm living proof.

36) Picard is better than Kirk in every way.

37) No reference, no matter how obscure, is ever wasted. Someone will see. Someone will understand. But it may take time...

38) Always try to get in before the lock.

39) There are always more rules.

40) You must read all of them.

41) There will never be another Joe.

41a) Give him a dollar.

41b) Now.

41c) Have you given him a dollar yet?

42) You've broken one of these rules already. I am disappoint.

43) I'm going to stop at 50.

43a) Or am I?

44) Don't post a wall of text. Use paragraphs.

45) Have you danced yet?

46) Lurk more.

48) Don't talk about 4chan.

49) These rules will save your life.

50) Don't take these rules seriously.

51) Hahaha.